There is something inside every one of us that longs to be all things good, respectable, honourable and lovable. But so very often, we fail to see that to achieve that, we have to first see ourselves for what we really are. When we do, we are often so appalled by ourselves or so unwilling to accept the truth, that we would do anything to deny it, even if it is as clear as day.

We do want to be all things good, respectable, honourable and lovable. Yet, not many are willing to pay the price for change.

What is it that you want to change about yourself? Are you willing to pay the price?

I don’t profess to be an expert in Singapore politics. It’s always been a thing of interest for me, but honestly, it’s too much of a pain to have to scrutinise and attempt to understand every cheem jargon loosely thrown around for the sake of sounding pro. Why cannot use Singlish leh? Easy to understand what.

Anyhoo, here’s my two cents’ worth.

I am of the belief that the PAP has done a great job running Singapore. Find me another country more efficient, more administrative, more peaceful and more prosperous (depending on which year we’re referring to, of course). Employment rates are at an all time high, the SGD is gaining muscle against the USD, our citizens are highly educated and while other countries take a daily gamble on public transport, our main gripe is on transport overcrowding. Our streets are squeaky clean, and I mean this both literally and figuratively.

Others pick out the high costs of living in Singapore (highest after Tokyo and Shanghai), increase in GST, ERP and even costs of public transport. In PAP’s defense, Wong Kan Seng may just have a point about housing costs, lower it and risk being slapped by the invisible hand. We pay on average 20% of taxes to the Singapore government yearly, compared to up to 50% in other European countries (granted some of these countries adopt a welfare system).

On the surface, the PAP has done a great job. So why is it that the PAP is being slapped so hard this election?

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

After WWII, our immediate concerns were food, water, security and employment (physiological, safety). With a forceful hand, our founding fathers swept in, cleaned up the streets, forged alliances (some more lasting than others), provided food, jobs, safety and comfort. Once the basic needs were met, they focussed on education. What we can’t beat with resources (actual manpower, natural resources), we fought with intellectual strength. They built a community of people, focussed on racial and religious harmony. With that came love/belonging and esteem.

Maslow’s needs, physiological, safety, love/belonging and esteem have all been met, leaving the highest level of need – self-actualization.

The astounding progress forged by our founding fathers have led to an inevitable – complacency and infallible pretext. I believe most Singaporeans to be informed enough to understand the issues our nation struggles with, and they will accept what they can. Do you seriously think our votes will be swayed by the GST, ERP or tax increases? I doubt so. What my main discomfort stems from is the complacent attitude adopted by our incumbent leaders and the infallible image they love to portray to their citizens.

Let’s look at it one issue at a time.

1. Refusal to admit mistakes

Flash floods – Happens once every 50 years, act of God. Whatever you may call it, would it have been so difficult to say it was unexpected and steps are being taken to prevent or at least prepare for further occurances?

YOG – Millions wasted. Administrative disaster. Simply put, it looked terrible on the organising team. Best way forward? Sorry, we made a mistake. It was the first year we organised this, in the interest of putting Singapore at the forefront. Instead, all we saw were figures inflated to boast of its success, while the gaping errors were desperately played down.

Mas Selamat – We let a convict escape. Instead of shedding responsibility (case in point – DPM Wong), it was a costly mistake, one we learnt dearly from. We applaud the attitudes of our soldiers in their tireless attempts to hunt him down, but clearly, our defense needs more muscle.

2. Changes from top down

Singapore is as democratic as the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea and the People’s Republic of China. Changes in policies and such are always done in the name of the people, spearheaded by our almighty leaders in white. Name me one change that is powered by the people. The only semblance we had of a people movement was when we called for a repeal of 377A, and even that was shot down.

3. Smear tactics

Vote wisely. Vote opposition if you want to gamble with Singapore’s future. WP’s housing policy ‘dangerous’ to Singapore. Smear tactics with little or no solid foundation backing them will look bad, we’re educated enough to tell.

4. Really bad PR

Tin Pei Ling. Facebook ‘banner ads’. MParader’s fan page. Need I say more?

Make no mistake, as sure as the sun rises from the east, the PAP will be voted in for yet another (bureaucratically painful) term. But let’s show some support to the opposition, for every opposing voice will provide an alternative point of view forcing the incumbent to take into consideration, and this will (hopefully) lead to progress.

So dear beloved leaders, in campaigning this year, do remember this – we are no longer a small fishing village struggling for survival. We are a prospering first world nation (no matter what UBS says), whose basic needs have been met, whose educational qualifications exceed too many of our contemporaries, whose needs are now leaning toward the ideological. Either remember that, or ban education and the internet altogether.

We work hard and work late to climb that corporate ladder, or simply because we love our jobs.

We spend so much time at work, it’s easy to forget that we have a life outside of work. And more importantly, that the life we live outside of work is much more important.

I have come to accept that work can never be 100% complete, that there will always be work to do, work unfinished and emails unanswered. While I work hard (in the office as we speak) and give my best, I have learnt to let go and make time for what’s more important to me – my family, loved ones and God.

I dare say that even ministry may not be as important as we deem it to be. In our self-righteousness, it’s easy to categorise God and ministry together and justify that workaholic streak in us, but that’s not the case. Take Pastors for example, they have a phenomenal youth ministry, but apart from God, their family, Rinnah, is most important to them. I doubt that Pastors love God any less. And if another example is needed, let’s remember Martha and Mary.

Work hard, live well, love much.

To Pastor How and Pastor Lia: Thank you for the necklace! And for Pastor How’s birthday being one day before mine, so I get to enjoy the hilarious church celebrations too!

To Jem and Jon: Thanks for the treat at Garden Slug and the hours at Club Street. Books are love. Not to mention, the matchbox rat (yes Jem, I’m naming it after you) and Freitag pouch.

To Maril, DT, Wendy, Jieru, Bryan: Thanks for arranging dinner and rushing down to hang at Esmonde’s place. Had loads of food *burp* and fun.

To Esmonde and Lionel: Special thanks for baking a whole meringue cake for me! And for the DVDs and beer (I’m sure we’ll get to watch it again Esmonde…)

To Bel: For Gold Class tickets to Salt! I don’t know how I can ever go back to regular cinemas now Take care in Canada…can’t wait for you to be back!

To Yassy: Books are love. Thanks for the Borders gift card!

To Garrett: Thanks in advance for the present. I’m sure I’ll like it. Heh.

And to the million people who wished me on Facebook! Thanks guys!

Love you guys! That definitely broke the birthday curse.

If you want us to accept foreigners, please ensure that your citizens are entitled more privileges than them. We know how much expats are paid and the perks they get.

If you want us to stand tall at the Youth Olympic Games, treat our volunteers with respect. Those packets of food from the SIF are not pretty.

If you want us to accept the shortfalls of our transport system, please say sorry (would also help if we have BIGGER and LONGER trains, instead of just one more train during the peak hour). We’re not stupid. Distance fares are NOT cheaper. We topped the region in Math, remember?

If you want us to start a family and be independent, please make housing more affordable. Build houses we CAN afford. A young family, say parents are both 25, would be earning about $3,000 a month each (actually, less, but assuming they are). Tell me, how would they afford a HDB? Oh right, live with their parents. For how long? With how many people?

If you want youths to be interested in politics, stop killing our idealism at 7 years old. Allow opposition parties to flourish. If the PAP is truly good, people will vote.

If you want religious harmony, allow religions to grow, instead of sneakily calling up all unregistered religious groups and getting the URA to restrict the use of properties by these groups.

I refuse to be part of a generation that is apathetic, selfish and materialistic.

I refuse to believe that my life is all about education, career and family.

I believe in idealism, in making the world a better place, in living for something greater.

I believe, I believe. Even if I appear to be a fool, at least I know what I am foolish for.

To be pragmatic is to exist. To be idealistic, is to LIVE.

Dear Gov, do you want a country that simply exists and at best, prospers economically, or do you want a country that is ALIVE?

I never imagined that I’d be this happy, for this long. Over the past few months, so many things have happened, and I have God to thank for them. New job…new relationships forged…new perspectives.

I should really be talking about my new job!

I’ve started work at Carbon Interactive, as an Interactive Manager. 10pm on a Friday night and I’m still in the office, but boy am I loving what I do! More than just plan media buying (which was mostly what I was doing in my previous job), I get to conceptualise and project manage huge campaigns that involve much, much, more than online display advertising. This morning, we had our weekly Friday morning sharing session to discuss ideas and they were mind-blowing! Finally my brain is being put to good use! Will definitely share more about those ad campaigns, crazy brilliant!

And after much navigation..I think I’ve found that place in Pakistan called Joy. I thought it was a tiny department hidden behind Needs, Wants or Desire, but I realised it’s a state. Unbelievably beautiful and serene…never thought I’d end up there.

OH AND SPAIN IS IN THE FINALS!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!

Lastly, though I can’t say much here, I wanna say I’m incredibly blessed to have certain people in my life.

Random post, tired and lacking in sleep, but very, very happy.

And I have a new love – David Villa. Tall, dark, insanely handsome, just as insanely rich, what a snag!

But just to be clear, I’ve been supporting Spain since I started watching the World Cup (properly) in 2002.

Isn’t it interesting how everyone in Singapore is following the World Cup? I mean, our football is pretty pathetic. We have never qualified for the World Cup. But everyone is out there, in homes, bars and kopitiams, donning their favourite World Cup jersey and standing behind a country that they do not belong to.

Just last night, a whole group of us sneaked into dT’s condo’s function room to catch the match between Germany and England. As usual, KS was yelling and cheering so loudly, my friends in Australia could hear him (he supports Germany). I turned to him and said, “Eh KS, relax lah. Not like it’s Singapore playing.”

KS: “If it’s Singapore, I wouldn’t be so excited.”

Spain, Germany, Argentina, South Korea, Japan, (okay, maybe not France, Italy and England for now…) all have a football team they can be proud of, stand behind, cheer and support. Because Singapore doesn’t have any, we stand behind another nation’s football team.

This tells me two things. Firstly, that we are wired to want to support someone or something. We follow superstars, football teams (for guys), football players (for most girls, I exclude myself), fashion labels and the list goes on. We want to feel involved, like we belong, like we can contribute. This tells me that we were made to build up and not tear down.

Secondly, that Singapore has no hero for us to support, and even when we do, we tear them down. It puzzles me – we are wired to build up, to support, but why is it that when it comes to our local celebrities, our local heroes, we can’t seem to show them the same support? Is it because of the stigma surrounding “Made in Singapore”?

³ Is this not the carpenter, the Son of Mary, and brother of James, Joses, Judas, and Simon? And are not His sisters here with us?” So they were offended at Him.
⁴ But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house.” ⁵ Now He could do no mighty work there, except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them.

- Mark 6:3-5

Perhaps it’s familiarity. Or perhaps we are so used to gawking at the world outside, elevating each nation to be greater than ours and looking at ourselves like grasshoppers that we cannot seem to find it in us to celebrate the success of our own, no matter how small. And that is why, I believe, we have failed to produce musical, sporting, creative, entrepreneurial, scientific and engineering talent. We viciously pour acid over a budding seed even before it can germinate.

I never used to be proud of my country. I’ll be the first to admit that. But as much as my country is imperfect, very flawed and very weird, there’s so much more to love.

When (I say when, not if) Singapore qualifies for the World Cup, I promise to buy a ticket to all their games. That’s support.

Would you rather be the fool who supports, or the critic who tears down?

Not anymore!

Here’s the original article, and link: http://www.straitstimes.com/STForum/Story/STIStory_531394.html

A nation of spoilt princesses?

THE Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware) seemed to suggest last Thursday (‘Singapore still far behind in true gender equality: Aware’) that women are free from blame for the declining birth rate in Singapore.

In Singapore, most parents urge their children to excel in studies and focus on their career. Few prepare their children for the rigours of parenthood.

Many households also employ maids. As a result, our boys and girls grow up lacking parenting skills and are clueless about household chores. The boys, however, have responsibilities forced upon them in the form of national service. Not so the girls. They are free to place personal ambition above all else.

And I suppose girls have no responsibilities apart from giving birth and taking care of the household?

Many women choose to remain single because they do not see the need or the urgency to get married. They do not need a man to provide for them and they can always depend on their girlfriends for emotional support. As for sex, few see the need to have it regularly.

Even when a woman does want to get married, her expectations get in the way. The man must be her ‘type’. He must have a great job, good income, be reasonably good-looking and he must also charm her off her feet before she will contemplate marriage.

Firstly, girls do not see the urgency or need to get married, yes, because they do not need a man, not for sex, not for emotional support. Unlike men, who need sex all the time. Also unlike men, women have more stringent criteria for choosing her partner for life, like financial stability and compatibility in both personality and character. Most men, on the other hand, simply need reasonable looks, a great figure and skills I really should not mention here.

Our society glorifies the career woman. Lifestyle and fashion magazines devote pages to tips for the career woman to get ahead. Floors in shopping malls cater exclusively to the needs of these women and credit card and insurance companies vie for their money.

And I suppose ads, credit cards and insurances catered to men are legit? Or rather, are you suggesting that our society should glorify the career man, but not the career woman? I’m sure if you do a little more reading, there must be some articles in FHM dedicated to help men get ahead in their career – or are they written by women?

As a result, women are spoilt for choice. Egged on by society, free from national service and reservist obligations and not needing a man, they are totally free to focus exclusively on their careers. Choosing to get married and have children is committing career suicide.

From my understanding, national service is only 2 years and reservist 10 days a year, for 10 years? Also, does our government not compensate men with higher starting salaries (at least in the civil service) for their services? While companies are willing to make excuses for men who have to serve the nation, how many companies are willing to make the same allowances for pregnant women?

The conclusion is inevitable. We have raised a nation of ‘spoilt princesses’ unwilling and unable to handle the rigours of motherhood.

The conclusion is ‘inevitable’? Your hypothesis and supporting statements are completely flawed, there is absolutely no link to raising ‘spoilt princesses’.

Firstly, your definition of ‘spoilt princesses’ appears to be as such – happily single career women. Perhaps it would be clearer if I draw a similar hypothesis – YOUR definition of the perfect woman. If you define single career women as spoilt princesses, then I can safely presume that your definition of a virtuous woman is one whose main purpose in life is to bear you many sad little baby boys, who ignores education and confines herself to her family and serves her husband 24/7 for his selfless sacrifice to serve our nation in the army.

With such mentality, it is no wonder women refuse to tie themselves down with marriage. Is it our obligation to do so? Is our service to our country only come in the form of child-bearing and household-keeping? Do our contributions to science and technology, education, businesses, social enterprise and more count for naught, simply because men are also biologically enabled to do so as well?

It doesn’t take a biology student to know that it takes a fusion of the sperm and egg to create life. It takes two hands to clap. You want a baby, the boys gotta work too. Just because the men do not have to carry the child in his womb for nine months does not lessen his responsibility to raise that child. If men and this country want to see more babies, the men have to first be responsible for that life and empower the women. You don’t get to just pop a couple of million sperm and walk. Our society has to support the women, ensuring that their careers will not be at the expense of the family. We live in an expensive nation, of course women have to work to provide for the family as well!

Secondly, every male citizen of Singapore is required to serve in the army, and I respect that. I respect the sacrfices that have been made by our men to protect our country, but please do us all a favour and quit harping on it. Soldiers in the United States, Japan and Israel are proud to serve their nation, they consider it a privilege, not an obligation. That is your contribution to our society, albeit (and hopefully) not the only one, but women contribute in countless different ways as well. Apart for child-bearing, we dominate the healthcare (nurses) and education industries, among others. Our women’s table tennis team has just been crowned best in the world. Are they complaining about the hours, weeks, months and years of sweat they put in to bring home this medal?

Thirdly, is it really surprising that women choose to avoid marriage? With men like you, still trapped in the Neanderthal belief that a woman’s place in the kitchen, is it really so hard to believe? Men and women should be empowering one another to fulfill MORE than what their genders enable them to – but their hearts’ desires, their dreams, their goals.

I believed that gender discrimination was a thing of the past. Clearly, I have been proven wrong. Women are not asking for special rights, to be glorified or placed on a pedestal. We are simply asking to be given the same opportunities as men, to be freed from ‘obligations’ and given a freedom to choose without discrimination or castigation. And when we can see the support from the men and from our society, then can we rest assured that starting a family will not be a burden, but a blessing.